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A few weeks ago, I was encountered with a new perspective on life. I observed a man with no sight. He was blind and had to be led by a dog. As I thought about what it must be like to be missing what I would have considered to be the most valuable of the five senses, I realized that being blind is a whole different world. I closed my eyes, momentarily, to avoid stares from others around and sat for awhile. Sounds came alive. Chatter, footsteps, chairs moving, and laughter danced in my ears- things that ordinarily would have been a blur with my eyes open. These monotonous and familiar sounds took on new meaning. Of course, I had the advantage of being able to picture the objects, as I've seen them all my life. For some, imagination is not a possibility.
A dramatically different world rests in the soul of individuals who have never been able to see. For instance, when I hear "yellow", I automatically associate brightness, light, and excitement. An aurora of objects runs through my brain. For someone who has no concept of "yellow" however, I can only wonder what is displayed in their mind or perceived in their emotion. As much as can be conveyed by someone with the ability to see is still only a foreign element in the world of one who cannot.
I, for if only a brief instant, envied the man who would be described as handicapped. I thought about his relationships...they can only be real, lacking any degree of superficiality. His love is not based on the physical, as he does not see outer beauty, but only what's inside. It must be awesome-to be able, or forced, to accept someone merely for who they are rather than what they can be. I've often heard that not possessing one of the five senses causes the other ones to be more responsive to make up for the one that is absent. I wonder if that is true of being able to discern character...reading through the mask put on by the outer shell of men.
I also thought of all the things not being able to see would allow us to overlook. Race, for one, would be an unknown division. Hating someone solely for the color of their skin would be avoided. Flaws and imperfections would not matter.
And, yet, as I pondered, I relished the ability to observe such things as a waterfall, a sunset, or a meadow of wildflowers. The privilieges that accompany sight are numerous. I was taken back to instances in my past; I wondered about opportunities in my future. I realized how one "advantage" completely changed my life from the life of someone without the gift of sight.
Then, as if to end my wandering train of thought, I somewhat grasped the insecurity of blindness as Heaven popped into my mind. I have no concept of the Celestial City that will serve as my home after I have passed from this earth. I cannot begin to understand the awesomeness. I will not know true beauty or behold things in their pure state until, I, for the first time, open my eyes upon entering the gates. Presently things seem distant and unfamiliar to my deprived eyes, but then shall I know fully and most amazingly.
To think, I am not so different from that blind man after all. Both of our eyes will be opened. For him, it may mean sight for the first time, but what a privilege...to have never seen anything but Heaven! A small band of gold, adorned with 11 tiny diamonds...it's nothing exquisite...but it is. It stands for something that has been lost in the shuffle of a generation who demands instant gratification and self-glorification. The ring, placed on my finger by my dad almost 3 years ago, is a symbol of purity...a reminder of my commitment before God, my parents, and in honor of my future husband to remain pure until the day I pledge myself in marriage. But the ring in and of itself means nothing. It it man-made, and constructed from materials that will oneday fade. It has no power. It is only a representation of a lifestyle that I must adopt on a daily basis, a lifestyle of absolute purity. See, purity isn't lost with a onetime act of fornication. Purity is a fine line characterized by chastity and inner beauty. Lost purity isn't a onetime only mistake. Purity is a decision that is made with the dawn of every new day. It isn't a one time act, but rather the choices one makes on a daily basis. Being pure means not allowing yourself to be put in situations of compromise. Being pure means going against what everyone else thinks is popular and acceptable if it is contrary to the Word of God. Being pure means denying yourself what feels good in order to obtain that which IS good. Being pure means living in such a way that would cause your brothers and sisters to draw closer to Christ as a result of your unspoken testimony. Being pure means not intentionally causing your peers to fall into temptaion as a direct result of your behavior, dress, speech, or other means. Being pure means deliberately choosing to walk a different road than that of the world. Being pure means setting yourself up for the blessings of God. Being pure means sanctified, set apart for the glory and honor of a holy and righteous God. Being pure means being different. I can confess to you that I've not always made the right decisions concerning purity. I've cause others to stumble, I'm sure of it. I've done and said things that haven't been out of the right motives, that have been selfish. Just because I wear a ring doesn't make me perfect or better than anyone else...it is simply a reminder of a promise that I made. It is a struggle. It is hard. But God never said that it wouldn't be. He promises to walk with us and to strengthen us. "Even youths grow tired and weary...and the young men utterly fall. But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint." (Is. 40:31). And again, "The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will rejoice over you with singing. He will quiet you with his love." (Zeph. 3:17) So be encouraged. God does not call us to something that he will not equip us to carry out. Purity is not impossible. Purity is awesome. Purity brings great rewards. Purity is a lifestyle, not a onetime decision.
What's to be said of...
Dreams...reach high.
Defeat...don't give in.
Praise..be careful.
Honor...acquire it.
Destiny...build yours.
Love...don't fall too soon.
Victory...one small step.
Passion...drink deeply.
Dedication...hold on tighly.
Respect...know to whom it's due.
Selflessness...the center from which all others branch.
Infatuation...is short lived.
Pain...a necessary teacher of dependance.
Emotion...discern truth.
Character...is determined on first encounters.
Friends...don't judge only shallow features.
Experience...a building block for the future.
Kindness...displayed so easily, received more sincerely.
Opportunities...once missed, never regained.
Racism...examine the soul.
Mistakes...learn and move on.
The past...will never change.
The future...determined by today's choices.
Longing...it's hard to let go, but harder to hold on.
A smile...you can make someone's day.
Responsibility...earn it.
Memories...live everyday to the fullest.
Disposition...why not be cheerful?
Death...tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Laziness...common quality in fools.
Trust...build and never break.
Philosophy...don't be deceived.
Dignity...carried constantly.
Integrity...rare & valuable.
Naievity...weakened by first experiences.
Pride...who is really responsible?
Maturity...more pleasing than childishness.
Grief...nothing runs deeper.
Leadership...begins and remains with humility.
Reputation...make your mark.
Heroes...everyday heroes are more respected than shining stars.
Life...keep walking, your journey is never-ending. Julie
She sits alone, her eyes sealed as if to prevent the light. Again and again the door opens, sounding the bell. One by one people pass her and strike up conversation with others in the room. Her head never moves. Her delicate frame rests silently in the burgundy-backed chair. Arms folded, legs neatly arranged underneath her place of fixity. Never does she let on to any interest in her surroundings. Not once does she break out of her reclusive state to observe the happenings of her environment. Instead she remains isolated, all the while frighteningly surrounded. Suddenly her name is called out, "Julie!"...the word to end her torment. She jumps from her chair and quickly makes her way to the back, away from the others, away from the light, away from it all. She receives what she entered this place for and must face, again, the roomful of waiting people. She never bothered looking out, only at the wall, then the counter, the floor, and finally the door. My heart wanted to probe into her deepest of fears. I longed to find a way to make her talk, to get her to see that she doesn't have to be afraid. But it was too late. She had already mumbled her goodbye and was out the door. Her black, curly hair glistened in the sunlight, while her beautiful green eyes found a hidden nest under her dark sunglasses. She never smiled or spoke unless spoken to, and even then only briefly. I watched her tiny body walk across the parking lot and wondered why Julie seemed so distant. What was haunting her? Why was she so afraid? What was causing her so much pain? Why had she lost all but a fragment of hope? Seems so unfair...Julie deserves better than that. I wanted her to see my source of joy. I wanted her to know my everlasting fountain of life. Maybe she'll get that opportunity. Maybe she'll receive a new direction in life, realizing her worth. Maybe she'll let go of what's holding her back...
She sits in the midst of chatter, light, and friendly people. A smile dances on her faintly painted lips. She soaks in the words of her partner in conversation and eagerly awaits her chance to reply. Words spill forth, almost causing her to miss her name being called out, "Julie!" She stands and proudly carries her petite torso down the hall to recive what she came here for. After a few minutes, laughing and talking can be heard from her mouth as she bades those in the room farewell until next time. She dances across the parking lot as she drinks in the rays of light and smells the breeze, her smile never fading... The End of the Day
When nothing's going right,
Everything falls apart.
At the end of the day,
I'm left in tears.
When it all caves in
And what I knew is spinning backwards,
At the end of the day,
I wish I could go back and do it all over again.
(chorus)
I am left outside of slamming doors.
I am standing on my own.
I am here wondering what's next.
I am walking, but all alone.
And then I arrive at the end of another day.
When what I thought was right
Suddenly melts away,
And opportunity deserts me,
At the end of the day
I sit confused.
When circumstances rule me
And refuse to let go,
At the end of the day,
I cry for release.
(repeat chorus)
Just when I think it's time to give in
And walk away from all I've known,
At the end of the day,
I reconsider.
When it all looks as though it's the end,
It's only just getting started.
At the end of the day,
I find new strength.
I am facing slamming doors.
I am standing, my thread of hope worn.
I am here wondering how long.
I am walking near to your throne.
And then I arrive at the end of another day.
One life...
I walked out of the door after work thinking about how insignificant my life is. I evaluated the expanse of my influence and found it to be next to nothing. I feel like such a small, unknown being in a vast, changing world. I cannot possibly impact the rest of mankind and shine as one of "history's legends." I cannot reach out to and influence millions of hurting souls. I wonder sometimes why I even wake up. I question my purpose for being here. I think about the many things I've failed in and see exactly how small my list of accomplishments is.
It's not that I don't want to make a difference, because that's entirely backwards. I do and very much so. But, if I were to die in the next 5 min., would anyone even remember my name? It sounds selfish, ambitious, perhaps. But a healthy ambition, I hope. I want to be somebody. Thousands of funeral notices litter countertops in towns across the nation without a second thought. I want to be known not because I had money, fame, or prestige, but because I was for real. Not only because I carried myself with dignity, but because I displayed genuine character.
There's so much I want to accomplish, yet, selfishly put off what really matters to please myself, living solely for the moment. There are things I need to say, but hold back for fear of embarassment. There are choices I could make, but shy away from due to an uncomfortableness of leaving my comfort zone.
I stumble around in what seems like utter misdirection without a knowing of what I'm supposed to do. I grasp a promise of a plan for my life. I understand there are great things in store for me. But, I struggle with patience. I strongly feel the necessity to know things right now and exactly as they are to be so that I can prepare myself. Unfortunately, this is never the way things work out and I must constantly force myself to let go and trust. There are things I've hoped for, longed for, prayed for. Most of them are shattered elements of a foolish dream. I can see a purpose in most cases, but am still waiting in others. I find it hard to comprehend why, when I've done what I thought I was supposed to do, things don't work out? Why I have to say goodbye to some things in order to usher in others that will yield yet other heart-breaking results. It's all to build my strength, to teach me dependence, or so I've been told. I still wonder. I still feel small and unnoticed. I don't feel like I'm living a worthy life. I don't feel like I'm meeting the criteria. I feel very insignificant.
Changing the world means changing one life at a time. Being remembered means getting to know one person at a time. Impacting lives starts with connecting with one soul. As far as being a "great" in the history books, my world's too big. As far as touching a nation, I am but one person. I'll probably be a nobody all my life, but I want to be a nobody with purpose. I desire to be a nobody who cares. I long to be a nobody with a huge heart full of compassion. I want to strive to be a nobody who is remembered by those who knew her well as a somebody. I'll find my reason for being here eventually. I'll gaze into the distance, close my eyes, ans dream. I'll think about all the things I want to do and maybe accomplish them...oneday. |
